The Dog who

Didn't Win a Prize

written by Pam Ayres

I'm the dog who didn't win a prize.

I didn't have the Most Appealing Eyes.

All the day in this heat, I've been standing on me feet

with dogs of every other shape and size.

I've been harshly disinfected, I've been scrubbed

I've been festooned in a towel and I've been rubbed.

I've been mercilessly brushed, robbed of all me fleas and dust

and now the judging's over

I've been snubbed.

Was it for obedience I was hailed?

As "Best Dog in Show" was I regaled?

Oh not on your Doggo life, pass me down the carving knife,

I had one thing said about me - it was "FAILED"

I never for a moment thought I'd fail.

I thought at least I'd wind "Waggiest Tail"/

But no certificate, rosette, or commendation did I get -

Nothering on the kennel door to nail.

I am going in me kennel on me own.

Thankyou - no - I do not want a bone.

Do not think you can console me with leftovers in me bowl

me pride is mortified:

I want to be alone.

I've heard it fromt he worldly and the wise:

"Each dog has his day" they all advise.

But I see to my grief and sorrow,

my day must be tomorrow!

Oh, I'm the dog who didn't win a prize!